Despair
by Bastet Starwind
Summary: After causing his hikari to become ill from a suicide attempt. Bakura resorts to desperate measures to ease Ryou's pain. AU One-shot. Character Death.


Bastet: Hai, I am back again! There will be a sequel to my other story, just please be patient. I have a case of writer's block on that story. In the meantime, here's a nice healthy dollop of angst for you all.

Spyder: Bastet doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh, not even some of the idea. She doesn't remember the author who used some of the suicidal methods. But if they contact her, she will give the credit.

Warnings: Light cursing, suicidal thoughs, mention of suicide attempts, and double character death.

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Despair

I can't stay here anymore. Life just isn't worth it, but Life must think I am, because I've tried four times to leave, each time failing.

My first attempt was last year in January. I had taken a .45 caliber pistol from Shen's gun cabinet and tried to shoot myself in the dead of night. I never even got to use a bullet. Ryou always empties the guns while his father's away, house rules I found out later.

My second attempt was nearly successful. I took a steak knife to my wrists, and was this close to dying when Shen found me as I passed out. Ryou told me later in the hospital, that his Otou-san had bandaged my wrists, then taken me to this pristine hellhole.

Three times is a charm. I was tired of failures, so I jumped off the Kaiba Corp. building. Woke up with a splitting headache the next morning inside the Ring. There were three things about that day I got out of it. One, scared the hell out of Yami, he was visiting Ryou and I popped out of the Ring. And I learned two lessons: cliches lie, and I can't die!

Stubborn as a mule I am. Now I was desperate. I'd followed Ryou to the pet store, so he could pick up food for his kitten, Yume. While he was talking to the cashier, I had found the rat poison, aka, Arsenic. I slipped some under my shirt and when we got home, chugged the stuff down with some orange juice. Big mistake. Both Ryou and myself became severely ill, but because I was a spirit, once again, I couldn't die. Ryou, however, was sick for a month, and the poison permanently damaged his heart and lungs.

That was what stopped me then. And stops me for now. Ryou still suffers to get through normal life; he was hospitalized just last week from a coughing fit when he breathed in some dust.

I've sat by his bed since he came home, helping him drink and everything. He is so frail looking now, I fear to touch him, as he could break possibly.

"Onegai 'Kura," he pleaded yesterday to me. "Onegai, take away this pain."

It nearly broke me to hear him this way, but I did answer. "I can't Ru, I wish I could, but all I can say is sorry," I had replied to him softly as I tucked him in.

As soon as he was asleep, I left our home, Shen having given me a glare on the way out.

It is all clear now; Ryou hates me. The way he looked at me when I said sorry revealed the truth. The way his eyes betrayed his pain has caused my suicidal self to bubble up and I now know I must end it once and for all.

I sprinted to the park, straight past the bright mocking sun, the green trees, and the children, straight to the lake. It's cool deep green water calls to me, almost begging me to end my pain here. So I jump.

The liquid bobs over my head as I enter, and I quickly swim down to the bottom, clutching to the plant life growing on the murky ground. I breathe out so as to face my sentence more quickly. My throat is burning and I need air, badly, but I have to do this. My vision is dotted with black and I can vaguely make out a fish swimming in front of me before I am lost in black. I grow dizzy and light-headed and the last thing I register is my grip loosening on the plants.

~*? PoV*~

It's been two weeks, and I am only just admitting they are gone.

The police had told Bakura Shen they had found his son's body lying face down in the lake. Which we all knew to be impossible, since Ryou was at home. It was Bakura. And the worst was to come.

An hour after his death, Ryou suffered a massive heart attack and was pronounced dead on arrival to the hospital.

Both were buried together four days later.

Ryou Bakura Yami Bakura

1984-2003 ?-2003

Rest in Peace

May Ra Protect Them

~Owari~

Bastet: Another story, another day. Please leave a review below.


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